I Know Why the Chicken Crossed the Road

That’s right. I know why the chicken crossed the road. I witnessed it this weekend as traffic came to a halt on Main Street in my small town to allow said chicken to cross the road.

This poor chicken has had its motives questioned for quite some time while speculation has run amok.

A quick Google search produces a list of potential answers from well-known figures, including these:

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Mr. T: If you saw me coming you’d cross the road too!

In the days leading up to the election, I received a jesting email detailing politicians, authors, and television personalities that seem to have evaded the question, including:

SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

Even Wikipedia has an entry explaining why the joke is funny (because “its answer is expected to be funny, but is not”) and where it may have originated.

Since I witnessed this fabled event with my own eyes, I will now settle the debate. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was, in fact, to get to the other side.

I also happen to know what was on the other side. An auto body shop.

So the real question is why did the chicken go to the auto body shop?


1 Comment

  1. brandi said,

    Friday, December 19, 2008 at 2:08 pm

    oh! I love your blog! I’m so glad you wrote so that I could find this wonderful little space on the internet.

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